This was a further bombshell – I’d never been told to take my trousers down for any punishment before. I just stood there transfixed, my heart in my mouth. I was definitely having a huge adrenalised reaction, and I froze like an animal caught in headlights. She sat down on that vestry chair, creaking slightly under the weight of bare acre, which made Tasha giggle. Her freshly spanked cheeks on wood nestled. She was ready! Vicar went over, displaying a bare quite boyish but chunky, too much indulgence and not enough fasting. In looks both fore, and aft, Penny was reminded of Finn, husband and partner to Laywoman Lawson, who as it happened gave and received as Penny suspected (found out on a visit one night). A spanking husband and a spanking wife was quite the zeitgeist among the 40 somethings. Equal opportunities.

She sits, legs open, her chin on her hand, elbow on knee. “Hello all, I think you’ll like this un!” Penny had a half-hearted attempt at dissuading them both: “Natasha, its wrong to take a peak at a private meeting, bottoms bare or not. If you insist, I’ll spank your bare to kingdom come…”

Sure enough a ringing instruction rang out, clear as a bell, which was their cue to resume their viewing position: “right, Vicar, I think you’ve covered the terrain. Now we change places and I show you how it’s done. Only fair when bottoms are bare that givers are also receivers”. I did find the atmosphere of spanking that was around in every facet of cultural life quite exciting; forbidden, terrifying, and yet intriguing. At my primary school I was once sent to the headmaster for playfully spanking a girl’s bottom – but instead of getting the cane (which is what usually happened if you were sent to the head) he just scooped me up in one movement, slapped my behind three times and told me to never to do that again. I was otherwise a model pupil, so I guess I’d earned some credit points. A window was open in that small space known as the vestry. As they passed by an unmistakable sound emanated out, rooting them to the spot. Thanks to the church, the Lord above, Vicars and local matriarchs. And of course the mistress of Spank herself, Aphrodite of the Beautiful Bare Acre and Bottom Bare – who else? A few days after my search, which was frustratingly unsuccessful, I responded to our front doorbell; there was Vera.

Lucille left it to me, along with a complete, and I do mean complete, description of the relationship she had with you for the past few years. In addition to her business, she requested I take over other matters in her absence. The original of this document, in your handwriting, was left to me to use as I saw fit to ensure you did not revert to your old, bad habits. After seeing how you’ve dishonored my sister’s memory by letting her home turn into a pigsty, I’m sorely tempted to just send copies of it to your boss and everyone else you know and be done with it… and with you.”The next thing I knew, Aunt Pam was holding my arms firmly so I couldn’t move, and Doreen was unzipping my jeans. Then I was pulled across Pam’s knee in a daze. Tasha meanwhile was lost in an ecstatic bliss – her bottom stung like crazy. When at last the business finished she asked her mentor a special favour which touched Penny to the core: “Gosh, your spanking hand is tip top shape these days. Are my cheeks red, they feel that way, but are behind so cannot see” :

Tasha said, “Penny, now listen we’re both hot and bothered. No need to go far. This churchyard’s large, let’s find a grave stone and you can set to…” Tasha said “now Penny, you know you want to and as parish council member it is your business to know what’s what, which includes Vicar’s tendency –he is quite new. Call it parish practicalities, and by all means I’ll bend and bare for old fashioned justice when we are through…”I could feel Vera’s eyes on my exposed, blistered bottom as I stood teary eyed at the sink, washing a week’s worth of dirty dishes, and the image was making me rise again. It was very clear my depression, loneliness, and self-pity would no longer be allowed. After a few months I was feeling somewhat strange in my gut. I felt like I needed to be punished harder for my misbehavior than the loss of things and privligies. In due time, this joyous fact would be shared with parish ladies as they discussed the merits and joys of bottoms bare and spanking matters, over each other’s knee as it turned out, on Wednesday nights at Ladies Group. But that was for the near future. There and then, in real time, there was some proper action due.

Do you recognize this?” Vera demanded, thrusting a photocopy of the confession and spanking contract I wrote at Lucille’s direction eight years ago. My second great desire in this weird and shadowy dimension was to be spanked myself by a stern, no-nonsense older female. This was kindled in me by Aunt Pam, with the help of her friend Doreen, who lived with her. Thank you, William,” Vera said shortly. “Leave me now and don’t disturb me while I sort things out in here. You may put the time to good use in straightening up the rest of the house,” she added. “I’m sure you never would have let it get to this condition while my sister was alive.”Then I heard her trot out this little ditty. “Spank a boy and do it right, trousers down, pants up tight. And if he smiles when he should frown, then spank him with his pants right down.” With that, Aunt Pam pulled my jeans down, exposing my underpants. My face was now near to the floor and I remember clearly the smell of the carpet, mixed with tobacco smoke as Doreen lit up a cigarette.